Champions League final: Bayern Munich v Chelsea – live!

It's abundantly clear that anybody who uses the phrase "on a journey" should be banged up for a not insignificant stretch. But what other words and phrases also warrant a sentence of the custodial variety? I'll start with the obvious open goal: chillax.

Talking of David Cameron, he's been busy caught saying something or other about John Terry. The country's got 99 problems and, while some would argue John Terry is one, it'd probably be better if Cameron focused on the other 98.

Team news That drum-and-bass track you can hear in Munich is Ryan Bertrand's heartbeat: he has been included in the Chelsea team and will make his European debut, in a Champions League final, playing out of position. I wouldn't ordinarily encourage use of the word 'wow', but, well, wow! That might be the bravest decision in top-level football since somebody last made eye contact with Roy Keane.

Bertrand's primary role will be to help Ashley Cole against Arjen Robben and Philipp Lahm. The rest of the Chelsea side is as expected, with Gary Cahill and David Luiz both fit to start. Well, they start. Toni Kroos drops into a deeper midfield role for Bayern alongside the majestic, man-lovable Bastian Schweinsteiger, so Thomas Muller will play behind Mario Gomez.

Bayern Munich (4-2-3-1) Neuer; Lahm, Boateng, Tymoschuk, Contento; Schweinsteiger, Kroos; Robben, Muller, Ribery; Gomez.

Subs: Butt, Van Buyten, Petersen, Olic, Rafinha, Usami, Pranjic.

Chelsea (4-2-3-1) Cech; Bosingwa, Luiz, Cahill, Cole; Mikel, Lampard; Kalou, Mata, Bertrand; Drogba. 

Subs: Turnbull, Essien, Romeu, Torres, Malouda, Ferreira, Sturridge.

Referee: Pedro Proenca (Portugal)

Preamble Everyone's on a journey these days. Detailed imaginary research shows that the phrase "on a journey" is used 1724 per cent times more in the iAge than it was in the 20th century. It's most prevalent on reality TV shows, with presenters and judges putting on their Gravitas Face as they talk about the journey undertaken by the show's stars. (That journey in full: a return ticket from anonymity to Heat magazine.)

If you want a real spiritual journey, try Chelsea's attempt to win the European Cup. Let me assure you, this, like any other story worth telling, is all about obsession. It began on Wednesday 13 August 2003, when they won 2-0 away to Zilina in the qualifying round, their first European match after Roman Abramovich's takeover. Eidur Gudjohnsen scored the first; Michal Drahno scored an own goal; Juan Veron flounced around imperiously. This was the team in full:

Cudicini; Johnson, Desailly, Terry, Bridge; Geremi, Veron, Lampard, Duff; Gudjohnsen, Forssell.

Subs: Huth, Melchiot, Gronkjaer, J Cole, C Cole, Ambrosetti, Hasselbaink.

Eight managers, 3193 days, 101 games and around £600m later, they face Bayern Munich in the final tonight. This is their last chance to secure the legacy they crave – and the legacy they deserve. It's hard to recall the last time a side as brilliant and enduring as this Chelsea team failed to win the European Cup. The late 1980s Real Madrid perhaps?

Chelsea's courtship of the European Cup has been so heartbreaking and apparently ill-fated as to make Scotland and the World Cup – not to mention Heathcliff and Cathy – seem like they lived happily ever after. It's been a litany of misfortune and near misses. There was infamous tinkering and an unseen handball against Monaco in 2004; the ghost goal and Eidur Gudjohnsen's injury-time miss in 2005; the penalty shoot-out at Anfield in 2007; THE penalty shoot-out in Moscow in 2008; the 47 clear penalties that were not given by Tom Henning Øvrebo beforeAndres Iniesta's injury-time decider in 2009. Five semi-finals in six years, including one final; no medals and umpteen regrets.

When Chelsea were quietly beaten before the semi-finals by Internazionale and Manchester United in 2010 and 2011, it seemed that time was up for a great team, and that the European Cup was destined to be the one that got away. Then something perverse happened. Since the second leg against Napoli in February, Fate has been whispering all sorts of filthy promises in Chelsea's ear. The manner of their victories over Napoli, Benfica and particularly Barcelona has created an increasing sense that this is their year. If nothing else, a win tonight would ensure Gary Neville's goalgasm was not in vain.

The trouble is, that duplicitous wench Fate has been giving Bayern Munich an equally strong come-on. They too have unfinished business in this tournament, having lost the final to Jose Mourinho two years ago; they also have a powerful sense of destiny, fuelled by a sensational semi-final victory over Mourinho and the long-standing knowledge that the final would be played in Munich. Bayern could become the first side to win the competition on their own ground since Internazionale in 1965. Either they will win their fifth European Cup, or Chelsea will win their first.

Kick off is at 7.45pm.