MONACO, May 23 (Reuters) - Rubens Barrichello turned to his old friend Jackie Stewart before Sunday's Spanish Grand Prix and wondered half-jokingly what possessed him to keep on racing for so much pain and so little gain.
The Brazilian, who turned 39 on Monday, has been hurting at Williams this season and his usual boundless optimism is wearing thin even if he still has the thirst for speed, the passion and the commitment.
The former world champions have not scored a point in the first five races, their worst start, and are going through considerable upheaval.
Technical director Sam Michael and chief aerodynamicist Jon Tomlinson are leaving at the end of the year and former McLaren designer Mike Coughlan is arriving in June.
Barrichello, the only driver to have started more than 300 grands prix, is a voice of experience in the garage alongside Venezuelan rookie Pastor Maldonado.
"I have this big motivation just to turn things around," the Sao Paulo native, who drove for triple champion Stewart between 1997 and 1999 after starting out with Jordan in 1993, told reporters after finishing 17th in Barcelona.
"Just before the race, I said: 'Jackie tell me why I still love this thing so much because, you know, starting from 19th -- what the hell? It's just (more sensible to) stay home and enjoy your kids'," he said with a pained smile.
"But I need that, I need adrenaline. I need to be able to turn things around and I'm sure I will. But it's suffering at the moment here."
VERY HARD
Barrichello had said on Thursday that he was not fretting about the points because he knew they would come.
On Sunday evening, as his thoughts turned to the showcase Monaco race this weekend, he sounded less certain of that after Red Bull and McLaren lapped every other car in the field.
"If my car doesn't improve, it's going to be very hard to just get going," he said.
"We are not going to score as many points as we had last year.
"The team is going through a tough period and it's almost like the family needs to hang on and make a nice environment. Right now, there's a bit of...a different opinion here and there," he added, saying it might be time for a collective cuddle rather than apportioning blame.
"We just need to wait until Mike Coughlan comes in and hopefully that will give us a bit of a direction with some technical leadership."
The pain is more acute for Williams because in testing before the start of the season their car looked one of the more innovative and promising, apart from some reliability issues.
"We had situations of testing at the beginning of the year that were okay. And the others developed and we didn't," agreed Barrichello, a race winner with Ferrari and Brawn.
"It's not that we lacked upgrades on the car, there's a lot of upgrading coming, but they don't work pretty much so we need to redirect the (wind) tunnel to the car. That's why we are losing."
The Brazilian, who turned 39 on Monday, has been hurting at Williams this season and his usual boundless optimism is wearing thin even if he still has the thirst for speed, the passion and the commitment.
The former world champions have not scored a point in the first five races, their worst start, and are going through considerable upheaval.
Technical director Sam Michael and chief aerodynamicist Jon Tomlinson are leaving at the end of the year and former McLaren designer Mike Coughlan is arriving in June.
Barrichello, the only driver to have started more than 300 grands prix, is a voice of experience in the garage alongside Venezuelan rookie Pastor Maldonado.
"I have this big motivation just to turn things around," the Sao Paulo native, who drove for triple champion Stewart between 1997 and 1999 after starting out with Jordan in 1993, told reporters after finishing 17th in Barcelona.
"Just before the race, I said: 'Jackie tell me why I still love this thing so much because, you know, starting from 19th -- what the hell? It's just (more sensible to) stay home and enjoy your kids'," he said with a pained smile.
"But I need that, I need adrenaline. I need to be able to turn things around and I'm sure I will. But it's suffering at the moment here."
VERY HARD
Barrichello had said on Thursday that he was not fretting about the points because he knew they would come.
On Sunday evening, as his thoughts turned to the showcase Monaco race this weekend, he sounded less certain of that after Red Bull and McLaren lapped every other car in the field.
"If my car doesn't improve, it's going to be very hard to just get going," he said.
"We are not going to score as many points as we had last year.
"The team is going through a tough period and it's almost like the family needs to hang on and make a nice environment. Right now, there's a bit of...a different opinion here and there," he added, saying it might be time for a collective cuddle rather than apportioning blame.
"We just need to wait until Mike Coughlan comes in and hopefully that will give us a bit of a direction with some technical leadership."
The pain is more acute for Williams because in testing before the start of the season their car looked one of the more innovative and promising, apart from some reliability issues.
"We had situations of testing at the beginning of the year that were okay. And the others developed and we didn't," agreed Barrichello, a race winner with Ferrari and Brawn.
"It's not that we lacked upgrades on the car, there's a lot of upgrading coming, but they don't work pretty much so we need to redirect the (wind) tunnel to the car. That's why we are losing."
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